Justifying My Existence

A business has to be involving, it has to be fun, and it has to exercise your creative instincts. – Richard Branson

I have to say that as the 3rd week of working part time from home while also trying to earn some self employment income as begun, I haven't felt this good in a year!

Yet...I feel a little twitchy all day long.  I am constantly asking myself if I have justified my existence for the day.  Am I doing enough?  Have I worked enough?  DId I make enough money today?  Can I really allow myself to be enjoying this new work arrangement so much?  Will I really be making enough extra by fall to continue living in this much joy?

I am loving what I am doing work wise.  And it is fun to be working for a couple who are entrepreneurs, to watch them work and be inspired to go off and make it happen for myself as well.

But..

Fear.
Doubt.
Insecurity.
Uncertainty.
Fear.

Last night I was feeling particularly frustrated at my lack of progress and questioning if I was doing the right thing since it wasn't coming together as quickly as I had hoped.  But I had to remind myself that it takes time to get something started and build momentum.  It takes time to find your groove.  It takes time to find your right market.  And it takes a tough skin because you will make lots of mistakes and hear lots of "no" before the "yes'" add up to something you can live on.  I had to remind myself that this isn't going to be easy but it is going to be worth it.

So I pushed away those fears, doubts, insecurity and uncertainty and replaced them with...

Hope.
Belief.
Perseverance.
Confidence.
Certainty.

I started out this blog saying, "how hard can it be...?"  I am learning that it can be hard.  It is not for the faint of heart.  But if it means continuing to enjoy my job and career as much as I am enjoying it at the moment then it is definately worth the effort.

Plus, yesterday I got my first check for a writing job.  Yes, of course, I made a copy to frame.  It is the first of many checks both big and small that will come my way as I build a career and business doing something I love.

Success in business requires training and discipline and hard work. But if you’re not frightened by these things, the opportunities are just as great today as they ever were. – David Rockefeller

Fresh Start

Yesterday was the last day of employment at the job I spent exactly 1 year working at full time.  After 17 years without a full time job, one year was plenty.   Part of me can't believe it was an entire year.  Part of me can't believe it was only a year.  The bottom line is that while there were positive aspects of me working full time, overall it did not work for our family.

So here I am.  Unemployed.

But only for today.

Monday I start a new job working 20-30 hours per week from home.  It was a dream situation that sort of fell in my lap at the perfect moment I needed it.  I had planned to continue working as an employee somewhere but assumed I would be out of the house.  I didn't imagine I would have an opportunity to work from home.  Balance home and work, move between them without having to get in my car and drive through traffic home.  I didn't imagine a scenario where I could get up at 6am and put in a couple hours in my pj's before getting Isabelle ready for school.  Setting my own schedule. Awesome.

I realize that right now I am sort of focused on the dream portion of working from home.  I try to remind myself daily that I will still be working.  I am being careful to continue guarding my schedule.  I haven't signed up for any new volunteer positions at church.  I haven't been planning a return to my favorite classes at the YMCA with my old friends.  I am still expecting the family to help out around the house and while I am not looking for as much child care as I would have expected to, I am still planning to have Isabelle out of the house a few days a week.

But still, I really think it will be great!

So first problem of starting my own business, not enough time, solved.  I am no longer out of the house and away from my personal life nearly 10 hours a day.  I have begun to re-integrate my work and home life into a balance I am more comfortable with.  And I have freed up hours each week to focus on my own business rather than someone else's.

Second problem...now what?  Well my son graduates from high school in less than 2 weeks and for now that is all my focus.  But during my extra work hours this month I am going to do a hand full of things.

• I am going to start making some Stella & Dot emails and phone calls.  I sort of had to toss that on the back burner for all of May but I need to re-energize this month.

• I am going to read.  I have a bunch of books on professional blogging, learning word press and working from home.  I also have a whole bunch of emails about running a web based business that I have been storing for future reading.  This is the month to research, learn and make plans.

• I am hoping to be writing for pay.  I have a line on a possible freelance writing job writing some training manuals.  It isn't glamorous but as far as I am concerned it is the New York Times.  I am just excited to be able to get paid to write.

• I am going to have coffee with people.  I have a handful of people I would love to talk with and hear their stories on starting a small business.  Can you tell I am an information accumulator?  And I have friends who I have missed over the past year.  Friends who have stuck with me even when I haven't been available for them.  I have taken more than I have given this past year and I look forward to giving back to them a little.

• I am going to file paperwork to have an official business to work from.  I have actually been toying with calling it "Melanie, Inc" but I don't think that will end up being the final name.  I do want it to be something simple and generic but personal that I can use for a variety of income ventures.

Well that is probably more than I can actually accomplish in a month while simultaneously learning a new job but when you think about 10 hours a day it really shouldn't be a problem at all.

Last month, despite only having 1 small trunk show I managed to make $54 for barely 2 hours of work.  It isn't much but with only 4 real truck shows I have already made enough to replace my initial investment.  From here forward it is all profit with Stella & Dot.

Looking forward to an exciting summer.

Farming

I used to be a homemaker.  Sort of.

I loved being a homemaker.  Loved being able to care for my family, help my kids discover their potential and reach for the top, help my husband with the details of his life so he could focus on his work and the tasks before him.  Be available for my friends when they were hurting, able to drop everything just to listen.

But I wasn't really a homemaker.  My husband was always self employed and I have always done his bookkeeping, we have owned rental property that fell to me to manage and I have sat on the board at our church as well as starting and leading various ministries.  I was very much working during those years I wasn't making any money.

One of the ideas that continually motivated me during those years is what I refer to as "the new family farm".  I am intrigued by the idea of the family farm.  Kids and parents working together to care for animals and produce a harvest.  Work together, play together, live and love together.  Creating a strong healthy family.  That is what I felt like we were doing during those years I was at home.  Our kids were part of our lives, our son helped us clean our commercial building each week emptying trash and vacuuming, we discussed business plans over dinner, I collected rent with a baby carrier under my arm and delivered drawings between grocery shopping and piano lessons.

With the industrial revolution came a separation in family life.  Now we all have our own thing, parents and kids, and then we come back together in the evenings to compare notes and take care of the family details.  Having done it this past year I can say that while I continue to feel involved in my families life it isn't the same as shared experiences and frankly, it is exhausting.  There are good and bad in everything but given the choice I would rather work with my family.

So my number one motivation as I go forward is to bring my family back together.  This is what drives me.

What drives you?

If the family were a boat, it would be a canoe that makes no progress unless everyone paddles.

LETTY COTTIN POGREBIN, Family and Politics

The Next Big Step

A man should never neglect his family for business. – Walt Disney

Well, I did it.  I quit my job.  Now to find another one...

Actually this is something my husband and I have been discussing for a few months.  He is in school full time but still makes more than double what I make working part time.  And as we have talked over the winter we have found that while there have been several good things about my transition back to full time work, there has been a lot that really hasn't worked.  After talking about what we needed and what our goals were we realized that what I really need is a part time job.  The long term goal is still to be fully self employed but for now I still need to work a little.

What we have decided is that I need more schedule flexibility.  I  need to be able to get our daughter off the bus in the afternoons.  John is leaving work sometimes 2 hours earlier than he would need to so I can stay at my job and make less than half his hourly rate.  And although he is also taking a full load of classes he ends up making dinner every night and doing a fair number of household chores.  While I have re-taken some of the housework in recent months as the transition back to work has become more comfortable, the bottom line is that with lunch and commute I am out of the house nearly 10 hours a day and the last thing I want to do when I get home is clean the bathroom.  In my tiny amount of free time between work and spending time with my family I am trying and failing to start a business.  With all that it was clear we needed to try something else.

Last fall I had been listening to a series on internet marketing that I stopped as my life has gotten too full but, one of  the interesting things he suggested had to do with when to quit your job.  He basically said that while it might make sense to wait until you can replace your income plus to quit your job, he actually suggests you quit when you have replaced maybe 2/3 of your income or less.  He argues you will make more when you can fully commit to the business.  I sure hope he is right.

I had hoped to be able to stay at my current job on a part time basis but they didn't want to do that.  It is a little scary to realize I am going to have to job search but exciting as well.  And we timed this for when John was finished with classes and his summer construction schedule has already started filling up.  So if I do nothing but the business all summer long we will be fine.  No need to panic until about mid August.  And who knows, maybe by mid August I will be humming along enough to not need a part time job.

I did briefly email with a friend who is a very successful entrepreneur.  One of the things he said was that this is not a "get rich quick" scheme.  It could take a year or more before I can take money out of a business.  While I am aware that building a business takes time it was a good reminder of why I am pursuing the things I am in the order I am.  I need to make money now and I want to build a business for later.  So I am starting by pursuing things like writing or Stella & Dot that put money in my pocket today while researching and considering ideas that will set me up to make money in the future as well.  Active and passive income.  In the classic "Rich Dad" series he talks about the difference between a business owner and a self employed person.  One makes money even when you aren't working and one is dependent upon you to make money.  I guess for now I am self employed but long term I want to be a business owner.

We all have to start somewhere.  And June 1st I launch into this business world with a new level of commitment.  In the mean time I am going to just try to make May a little better than April.

• I do have 3 Stella and Dot shows on my calendar that I am hoping will all be successful and earn me that prize they are offering again this month as well as putting a few hundred dollars in my pocket.  
• I am going to try to do a little reading.  Education needs to be a key going forward.  I picked up a book called "Selling 101" by Zig Ziglar.  It is a small condensed book, quick read.  Just what I can handle these days.  And since Zig is a well established authority on the subject I thought he would be a good place to start.  My friend also recommended several other books that I will hit the library for and let you know if I find any gems.
• My writing project has gone off to the business partners for review and I expect lots of slashes and re-writes in my future.

In the mean time I am encouraged that although April wasn't the successful month I had hoped for I did actually make $125 in commission on my sales during about 3-1/2 hours of work.  More than I am making in 3-1/2 hours at my current job and a lot more fun and family friendly.

If it really was a no-brainer to make it on your own in business there’d be millions of no-brained, harebrained, and otherwise dubiously brained individuals quitting their day jobs and hanging out their own shingles. Nobody would be left to round out the workforce and execute the business plan. – Bill Rancic

Never Give Up

There is no royal, flower-strewn path to success. And if there is, I have not found it. For if I have accomplished anything in life, it is because I have been willing to work hard. – C.J. Walker

I have to admit.  This month wasn't exactly what I had hoped it would be.  With only a couple days left not only am I not going to reach my goal of 6 shows but it is looking unlikely I will reach my goal of 3 shows to win the tote bag Stella & Dot is giving away this month.  And I would be lying if I didn't admit I am more than a little disappointed with myself.

As May 1st looms before me I had really hoped for more.  My expectations for May are even higher and I was really hoping to begin gaining momentum in April.

I have 3 strong shows already booked for early in May and a possible 4th on the horizon.  I am still working on my writing assignment and really enjoying the process of writing it and learning about business writing.  Getting a check will be a wonderful bonus at the end of the process.

I would also like to "launch" this blog in May.  Right now I am basically writing it to myself.  I have a couple friends and family members who occasionally come across it or check in but for the most part I have kept it a secret.  I was hoping to start promoting it when I was actually doing something worth reading about.  You know, gaining clients, making sales, bringing in money.  But, I suppose that is not really the point of this blog.  I did not start it as a "how to make $5000" blog but as a "how hard can it be?" blog.  As in, I do not have the answers but I believe I can do it!  I have big goals and I am committed to achieving them no matter how many months in a row I fail to reach them or how hard I discover it actually is to make $5000/month.  So if you are reading this blog know that I am writing it to chronicle the highs and lows, the success and failures, the chances and challenges of starting a small business while raising a family.

I also have a million personal things going on in May.  Some of the top things include, my son finally choosing which college he will attend in the fall, my husband finishing up his first year of college and launching into what is shaping up to be a very busy summer in his construction business, and planning for my son's graduation party.  Plus, my sister and her 4 children are coming home at the end of the month for a visit.  All of these things and more are distracting my mind and my time away from growing a business.  

I am trying to learn to balance my time working to grow a business with family time.  A big part of the reason I want to work from home in my own business is so that I can better prioritize my family so letting go of those commitments is not an option.  Full time work away from home, family and a small business are not easy balls to juggle but I believe running a business while raising a family is a natural combination.  So I keep pushing forward.

Remember the movie Cast Away with Tom Hanks?  He tried to sail off but couldn't get past the big waves and out into the open water, he felt trapped.Then one day he found a "sail", mounted it on his raft and brought it up at just the right moment to push him past the waves and out to sea.  This is how I feel right now.  I can see the open water and I just need to lift my sail at the right moment, push forward and head out to the open waters.

I believe that my success will come. It will come because I will keep trying.  Has my failure thus far been my fault?  Probably.  I could have done more this month, made more calls, spent more time focused on the business than the distractions surrounding me.  But, I will not give up.  I will not let my failures define me.

On October 29, 1941, U.K. Prime Minister Winston Churchill visited Harrow School to to hear the traditional songs he had sung there as a youth, as well as to speak to the students. When he was invited to give a speech, Churchill stood before the students and said,


"Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, give up. Never give up. Never give up. Never give up." 

April Goals

OK it is already the 8th of April and in some ways I am a little behind on making a big goal for the month.  But I reason it is never too late to make a goal for the month.  I love goals.  I like to know what I am working toward.  So let's review:

The long term goal is to make $5000/month.

the short term goal is to make $2000/month by next fall.

Last month my total ended up being around $300 in Stella & Dot profit.  Which, considering I worked about 7 hours to earn it and my current outside job would take me about 25 hours, I think is pretty darn successful. 

So building on that success, this month my goal is to have 6 Stella and Dot Shows which based on last month's average means I will make about $900.  I have a minimum goal of 3 shows at which level I will win a prize from the company.  Turns out I am motivated by prizes.  Especially prizes that are so easy to earn.  I currently have 1 show booked and 4 people who have said they want to have shows I just need to get on the calendar.

I also have begun work on my writing assignment.  I have decided to give a very good deal to the company I am working with as I have no actual experience and am looking forward simply to having something to put on my resume.  Also, they are a smaller company that can't pay a ton but I am hoping will be a good referral/reference for future business.  So I am thinking $2-300 if I can finish it by the end of the month. 

That would bring this months total to a possible $1200! 

On the one hand this feels very doable.  I can totally make this happen.  Plenty of time.  I just need to make a plan and do it.  One of the goal ideas this month is to get 100 "nos".  I would need about 5 per day to get that this month.  Thinking about using that to achieve my goal.  How hard is that?

On the other hand I feel compelled to begin making excuses for why I can't possibly do this to prepare you for my likely failure of this goal.  I am afraid of what I might have to do to reach that goal.  And it just seems so amazing that I could achieve that goal so it must be impossible.  So therefore I really should just be happy if I manage the 3 shows and $500. 

But that is a long way from $5000 and if I am going to make that happen I have to believe in myself and my process.  And I have to just go for it.  So at the end of this month I will be reporting a $1200 personal income for my business.  Can't wait!

"Nothing is impossible. The word itself says 'I'm possible!'" -- Audrey Hepburn

"Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway." --John Wayne

Time Crunch

I just realized something.  This is not going to be easy.  My life is getting busy and my motivation to develop these income sources is being re-directed.

I need to carve time out of my life where I can work on personal things, like creating a life size representation of my son for the post graduation senior party, without feeling like I should be working on a writing assignment or booking a Stella & Dot trunk show.  And I need to feel free to make business calls and learn about monetizing web sites without feeling like I have abandoned my family.  By knowing I have set aside time for both I can be free to immerse myself in each task without thinking about the other.

So this week I didn't do much.  I have been learning new things at my outside employment which used up a lot of my energy.  I had hoped to be able to report on my writing assignment but so far there isn't too much to report.

The writing assignment is basically going to involve me writing some marketing materials for a new company.  Part of me wants to flee at the idea but every time I sit down to do a little research on what they are asking for I find myself thinking, "well, I can do that."  This is definitely going to be an education.  I expect my hourly rate when I am done with this assignment to be just pennies but I am excited to learn enough to take on future assignment where I might be able to make nickles or quarters an hour and just keep learning and writing as I add to the monthly total.

So this week I am working on my new schedule.

 Mondays are for meetings.  I am meeting with a couple women on various Mondays, sales meetings for Stella & Dot and then the 4th Monday will be free for whomever comes along that I might want to grab a cup of coffee with.

Tuesday nights are open either for a Stella & Dot trunk show or to work at home.  I am going to engage in family time until at least 7pm on nights I am home before I allow myself to get distracted with writing or research or whatever.

Wednesday nights are for my daughter, she desperately needs a night she knows she can count on me to treat her like the center of the universe.  Luckily she is pretty easy.  Swim in the pool at the Y and then home for a smoothie.  Although tomorrow night we are going to spend her birthday gift card at Barnes & Noble.  My kind of girl.

Thursday nights have been date night at our house for years.  When careers and kids are all gone, your spouse remains.  At least that is the plan, so we always find a few hours on Thursday nights to drink coffee and unload our thoughts for the week.  Sometimes it is the only opportunity we have to say more than a few passing words the whole week.

Friday night is typically what we call "free pizza Friday".  It is supposed to be free because my parents buy it but apparently we are turning into the grown ups and so we buy some weeks too.  Especially when they are in Florida all winter!  As Jake gets older we encourage him to invite friends over to join us.  We want to maintain this night as a family night and find more intentionality in our activities that night.

Which leaves the weekend to do, well, EVERYTHING!  Which is sort of OK because it is hard for me to be particularly productive after work.  I just want to be home with my family.  But that means I need a work schedule for my Saturdays and Sundays.  When am I going to work and how long am I going to work?

I will be working on and tweaking this schedule for a while but I think I can find a routine that works for all of us.  And just when I find it I will be ready to cut back my outside work hours and will have to rethink the schedule all over again.  It is never ending.  But as long as I keep my priorities in mind I am sure to be able to figure it out.

So no addition to the monthly total this week.  I suspect no additional totals the rest of this month but, next month is shaping up to be busy with trunk shows, and I should be into working on the writing assignment by then as well.  Each month builds on the one before.  Can't wait to see what happens next.