Sunday, November 20, 2011

How Did This Happen?

A year ago I was a happy homemaker loving every minute of my life and never giving a thought to returning to full time work.  My daughter had just started kindergarten and it was becoming clear the economy was not going to turn around soon and thus my husband's business was not going to turn around soon.  So I told God if he wanted me to go back to work I would but he would need to drop the job in my lap.  So, of course, He did.  I worked a perfect 2 day a week job making just enough money to be helpful but not enough to really solve our problems.  By spring it was clear we needed to make some changes in my husband's career going forward.  After much discussion we decided on the most insane of our options, my remodeler husband would go back to school full time to become a Physician's Assistant.  Since about 6 of his technical college credits transferred, he started as a college freshman this fall 2011 and will not finish until at least 2017.  In the mean time one of us should probably work.  While he is continuing his work on a part time basis, I found myself agreeing to find a full time job.  Again, God dropped it in my lap.  From the day we announced the plan to my family and my brother mentioned an opening at his company till I was sitting at a desk full time was about 3 weeks.

I spent the first couple months sitting at my new desk wondering how I got there.  What just happened to me?  I had been at home for 17 years.  When people would compliment me on doing a good job I would just look at them and think, "What are you talking about? I AM A STAY AT HOME MOM!"

Besides having a major identity crisis, I was also overwhelmed by all the new information coming at me, the mess of my home, the idea of maintaining any aspect of my life while working and my daughter who cried almost every day for me to stay home with her.  When mom goes back to work she does not go alone.

Now, after 6 months of working, life is slowly beginning to normalize around here.  I haven't cried in a few weeks, my daughter lets me leave in the mornings with a simple hug and kiss and I am accepting the fact I won't be able to keep my house as clean as I once did for at least another 6 years.  Which is all to say that I am finally at a point where I am surviving enough to begin the transition from homemaker to working mom.

When I was at home I read many books on the topic of homemaking.  Lots of books on the transition from work to home, but where is the book on the transition back to work?  On the one hand I know how to be a homemaker, how to do the laundry, cook great meals for my family, organize the toys and plan a family game night.  What I do not know is how to do it while working full time.  I may be working now but my family is still my number one priority.  I am not trying to figure out how to "do it all".  I want to do well at my job but I am not in pursuit of a career. I am back working because I have to not because I want to.  My job is a means to an end not something I want defining me.

So this blog is going to explore the answer to the questions that arise as I try to figure out who I am as a working mom and how to put it all together.

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